What *REALLY* happened in Halloween
by Blackice2
Summary: a short humor fic i wrote for halloween, starting and ending in canon!halloween first year, but gets quite twisted inbetwin. ^_^ with Harry, Ron, Hermione and the troll. Humor, Slash inuation


Especially for Halloween: what REALLY happened there, in the first year Halloween. :-)  
  
Disclaimer: All the characters and situations belong to JK Rowling, bloomsbury, Warner bros. and many more- not me! I just borrow them for this little fic and hopefully they will be returned undamaged.  
  
Note: This fic was written in a questionable mental state, and translated out of bordom. Reader takes his... responsebility on his own responsebility. Also, slash (m/m and f/f) innuendo, so if you don't like it, you can turn away now. To an elephent would be nice.  
  
Feedback: worshiped, if such thing exists. flaming would also be nice.  
  
A\N: this fic was written in Halloween, in Hebrew. Since I consider this to be my finest (and first complete) fic, I chose it to be the first I will post; hence I am translating it right now into English. It takes place at Halloween in Hogwarts, at Harry's first year.  
  
Another (*sigh*) note: some quotes or sentences from the first book have been inserted here. Try and challange your memory in finding them! (yah, right...)  
  
~ @ ~ @ ~  
  
'Wingardium Leviosa!'  
  
An involuntary groan escaped Ron's lips as the feather rose off the desk and hovered about four feet above their heads. Damn. This... this Granger! He thought. He gave her a disgruntled look, glancing at her victorious smile. Grumpily, he flopped on his chair. It's not fair. She's so… SO! So… every time I sit next to her I can't think, can't concentrate… and she REALLY shoed me this time! And when it seemed that things couldn't get any worse, Flitwick had to congratulate her in front of the whole class.  
  
Ron was in a very bad temper by the end of the class.  
  
'It's no wonder no one can stand her, She's a nightmare, honestly.' He said to Harry when the class was over. At that time he didn't know what he was more- hurt, or infatuated with her. Hurt, probably.  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Hermione sprang out, knocked into Harry and hurried off with tears in her eyes.  
  
'I think she heard you.' Said Harry, reflecting Ron's thoughts.  
  
Ron felt a slight pang in his heart. Hermione was suffering because of him. But, well, she deserved it, he thought. She had earned it. However, some part of him wasn't completely convinced.  
  
'So? She must've noticed she's got no friends.' He said.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Hermione was crouching in the girls' toilets, crying. People were mean to her. She was reflecting of how lousy she was, and how everybody hated her.  
  
Ron, that tall redhead from class actually *said* he couldn't stand her.  
  
She was so delighted when she had found out she was a which, and in her enthusiasm when she got accepted to Hogwarts, she vowed: Since it is a chance of a lifetime, she will give her best. Before that, in school, she was pretty sloppy. Didn't attend all classes, instead preferring to stroll around in the nearby meadow. And her grades weren't so good as well. Of course, they insisting of expelling her, with her attitude problems with all the teachers… rudeness was too short a word to describe her then. She kept breaking every rule she could…  
  
But being a witch!  
  
This awesome opportunity… she wouldn't spoil it. She pledged she will be the most hard working, the most successful student of all… that she will not break any rule or do anything that could cost her being expelled from Hogwarts. In short, being one of the kids she'd spent a great portion of her time laughing at. But she didn't care, because she was a witch! It was worth it. Seven years of lifeless study, and then… AND THEN.  
  
But it wasn't working. Everybody hated her. Even the ghost hunting the girl's toilets she was hiding in, even she was keeping her distance.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Everybody must be verrrry satisfied with themselves. Jjjjust, Jjjust us need to fly herrre, and thththey eat. Dddddiscrimination. Thought one of the bats circling the great hall. He couldn't think what he did wrong, sentenced to fly there perpetually with all of them bright lights, and loud voices. All of Hogwarts' students were enjoying their Halloween feast, and he was hungry. Threatening voices rolled in his stomach. Suddenly realization of it's meaning struck him, and a naughty grin found a path to his face. He aimed and... emptied the source of his problem in the shape of pale mash on the pointy hat of the witch sitting rigidly, wearing those square glasses. However, it seemed that she didn't notice his gesture, for at that exact moment a flushed and frightened wizard wearing a funny- looking turban came running into the great hall. He ran up to the long table by which his target was sitting, and addressed the man with the shiny beard.  
  
'Troll – in the dungeons – thought you ought to know.' He gasped.  
  
And fainted.  
  
The turmoil was great, screams and bellows shook the poor bat, some of them frightened shrieks and some demands for order. Soon the great hall was empty, except the unconscious person with the funny turban. Cautiously, that man rose in a manner that insinuated perhaps that he was conscious throughout the whole event, and after surveying the empty hall, dashed to a wall and disappeared inside a secret passage.  
  
Great, thought the bat. Typical. What do you care about us bats? 'Let them stay there, swooping through the air', Nobody cares. Discrimination, as always. But know this, next Halloween- I'm not coming. Did you hear?? So make yourselves other plans!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Hermione was still sitting in the girls' toilets, though she wasn't crying anymore. She ran out of tears hours ago, but she still didn't feel like leaving the bathroom, so she entertained herself within them. An odd sound caught her attention, so she looked up and there in the entrance to the toilets stood…  
  
No, it can't be… just my luck…  
  
He was twelve feet tall. His great lumpy body looked like a boulder with a small bald head perched on top like a coconut. But still- the similarity was striking. The dull expression sprawled on his face… the familiar body odor... the way he wielded that mace, like a fork… it had to be him.  
  
'Elvin? What are you doing here? I'm not coming back to being with you, no matter how much you beg for it.'  
  
Oh, it's the last thing I need. Having my ex-boyfriend arriving here, looking like a… like a bloody troll and spreading rumors about how I was before I came to Hogwarts…  
  
Elvin, if it really was him, gave her a puzzled look. Yes, this stupid look in his eyes… it had to be him.  
  
He appeared to be momentarily distracted when the door was slammed shut behind him and a vague 'Yes!' cry accompanied with the sound of the lock sliding into place, but his attention returned right up to Hermione.  
  
'Yar mush smalle' 'en I 'emembered' he grunted and stammered.  
  
' Well, yah, then you were shorter then me and now you're taller then the ceiling, jackass!' Hermione exclaimed. 'What do you want?'  
  
Another idiotic look. 'eehh… Idonnow.. it.. it.. it jus' me comin' 'ere ba mista'e. But.. bu' why don' you come wid me? We 'ad fun 'dere, togatha.' He drawled.  
  
Hermione scolded. 'Honestly! I told you before, I like girls. Besides, you stink. Go take a shower or something.'  
  
Elvin shrugged. 'oke, I'll go teke'shower now'. He gave her an indignant look and began removing the loincloth he was wearing.  
  
Hermione stared with Horror. NO, he is going to undress *again* in front of the whole school and jump all over me…  
  
Horrible memories flooded her, and she felt like she was drowning. As he was wrestling with the knot, horrid feeling overwhelmed her, and she screamed 'Noooooooooo! Nooooooooo!'  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Flushed from their victory they started to run back up the passage, but as they reached the corner they heard something that made their hearts stop – a high, petrified scream – and it was coming from the chamber they'd just locked up.  
  
Ron was pale as the wall behind him. 'Oh, no,' was all he managed to stammer.  
  
Harry looked at the very unhappy Ron, and understood.  
  
'It's the girls' toilets!' he continued his line of thought.  
  
Poor Ronikins… he must feel terribly guilty. It pained Harry seeing him like that. Also, because of…  
  
'Hermione!' they said together.  
  
Harry barely noticed what he was doing. As if in a dream, he ran with Ron through the hallway, opened the door and entered the toilets *with the troll*!  
  
The troll seemed to be struggling the piece of loincloth he was wearing, knocking the sinks off the wall of the undersized chamber.  
  
Harry had to do something. He decided to jump on the Troll, a rather foolish act but his mind was always foggy around Ron. Besides, it will surely impress Ron, wouldn't it?  
  
'Confuse it!' he yelled to Ron, and threw a tap against the wall in order to get the Troll's attention.  
  
'Oy, pea-brain!' yelled Ron and through a metal pipe at it.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
'Arrrgg! dat 'urts! Wat, you'e stupid? Thro'ing dat? t'is dangerous, ya know!' rebuked the Troll.  
  
Harry used that opportunity to run towards Hermione.  
  
'Come on, run, run!' he yelled at her, but she just stood there staring at them.  
  
'Boys!' she bellowed. All three turned to look at her.  
  
'Please stop these nonsense, will you? And Elvin, ignore this read headed jerk, he didn't mean it. You didn't mean it, did you Ron?' she said and gave a meaningful look at Ron.  
  
Ron and Harry stared at disbelief.  
  
'Errr… you've already managed to socialize with this troll?" stammered Ron.  
  
A dreadful image rose in Harry's mind, about what they meant to do there when the troll struggled to undress it- himself. He tried to hide the sudden cough.  
  
Hermione sighed. 'Elvin- please meet Ron and Harry, they learn here. Ron and Harry, please meet Elvin, my ex.  
  
Ron couldn't decide what surprised him more, that Hermione had a boyfriend or that she was friends with this thing. Probably the combination of both.  
  
'You… you were the girlfriend of… that??' stammered Ron.  
  
'Seriously, he was a boy when I was with him. Anyway, I'd appreciate you leaving us right now. We have lots to talk about.'  
  
Hermione didn't want to think what would happen if that big guff ball starts opening that big mouth of his, and having the whole school know what a terrible student she was, and all sorts of other things that wouldn't help her popularity either.  
  
'I don't think we'd leave you alone with this thing. Not that it would help if we did, all the professors are hunting this Troll and will probably arrive soon.' Harry said.  
  
'Hermi… why don we 'etern bein togatha… 'eally!' Elvin said stupidly again. 'wha' was Ann bette' f'om me anyway?'  
  
Hermione closed her eyes and wanted to kill Elvin. He and his big mouth. That's exactly what she didn't want him to start telling around in school.  
  
'Ann?' asked Ron, surprised.  
  
'Ah, de one 'ermione 'eft me fo'… told me she didn' like boys 't-all…'  
  
Ron was in shock. Hermione? All his hopes were in vain? All his fantasies about saving her from the troll and carry her out, head over heals in love with him, dissolved into fine mists.  
  
Great wrath was building up in him. No, it couldn't be. The troll is lying.  
  
'Nooo! You liar!!!' Ron shrieked when he charged, grabbing Elvin's club and pounding him on the head with all his might. Only when Elvin was lying unconscious did he realize it's weight and promptly dropped it to the ground.  
  
In her heart Hermione was thankful Elvin was unconscious. Who knows what other trouble he could have created. And she knew how to make this... incident disappear. She couldn't afford wrecking her newly built reputation.  
  
She pulled out her wand and aimed it at the boys. Learning by heart the schoolbooks did have its perks. Of course, her repertuar included many more books then those schoolbooks.  
  
'Hermione… what is all this? Tell me this isn't right… I… I love you!' cried Ron.  
  
Hermione gave him a thorough look. 'Sorry Ron, you're cute but… maybe do you have any sister? ' She said and grind. Ron was about to answer, but Harry interrupted him. 'Don't worry Ron; you'll get over her. And you always have me' Harry said and devoured Ron's lips in a passionate kiss.  
  
Ron broke the contact, spiting and wiping his lips. 'eew, Yuck! Harry? You too? Am I the only straight person in Hogwarts?'  
  
'Luckily for you, this is one thing you will not need to remember' Hermione said and pointed her wand.  
  
Harry wouldn't take it. Kissing Ron was not something he was willing to forget. He drew out his wand, but before he could do anything Hermione yelled 'Expelliarmus!' and he was knocked backwards, his wand ripped out of his hand and catapulted into the Elvin's nose.  
  
'Good night!' grumbled Hermione, and cast her best memory charm.  
  
She had to doubt herself if the charm worked, because Harry just stood up, blinked, and went to get his wand. Ron was staring in nothing in particular.  
  
Hermione needed to check.  
  
'Is it- dead?'  
  
'I don't think so,' said Harry. 'I think it's just been knocked out.'  
  
He bent down and pulled his wand out of the troll's nose. It was covered with what looked like lumpy grey glue.  
  
'Urgh – Troll bogies.'  
  
He wiped it on the troll's trousers.  
  
Before Hermione had the chance to insure the spell's actual affect, Professor McGonagall, Snape and Quirrell came bursting into the room.  
  
'What on earth were you thinking of?' Said McGonagall furiously. 'You're lucky you weren't killed. Why weren't you in your dormitory?'  
  
Hermione's mind was working in a dazzling speed. In their condition, Harry and Ron were not capable of answering her and then she would be in trouble.  
  
'Please, Professor McGonagall – they were looking for me.' She said and continued searching frantically for ideas and excuses.  
  
'Miss Granger!'  
  
A crazy idea appeared in her mind.  
  
' I went looking for the troll because I – I thought I could deal with it on my own – you know, because I've read all about them.'  
  
Memories of lying to teachers in elementary school returned to Hermione and she went on, fabricating a story from the wild ideas in her mind.  
  
'If they hadn't found me, I'd be dead now. Harry stuck his wand up its nose and Ron knocked it out with its own club. They didn't have time to come fetch anyone. It was about to finish me off when they arrived.'  
  
Since Hermione wasn't sure about the success scale of the memory charm, she chose to stay relatively close to the real happenings, so that readjusting their memories would have minimum conflicts. And by the way it looks, Harry and Ron accepted the story and were re-plotting the events in their memories according to it.  
  
Hermione smile inwardly and was proud of her ability. Perhaps this was for the best – maybe now she will continue learning in Hogwarts, with friends for a change. Two friends, sharing the trauma of defeating a troll. The future seemed pretty bright. Of course, she will need to flex out a bit about the rules, but she got out of *that* situation, and surely she could manage all other obstacles.  
  
Harry, Ron and Hermione. The Gryffindor Trio.  
  
Hermione liked the sound of that.  
  
  
  
~ Fin ~ 


End file.
